Opposite of Gaslighting = Me

I was explaining my work to a friend the other day and how part of it involves helping people think differently about fairness at work, and her response was: “Oh, so it’s like the opposite of gaslighting?”

I loved that description, but before I could confidently take it as the compliment I hoped it was, I had to think it through.

“Gaslighting” is persistently feeding someone false information until they start to doubt what they know to be true, often about themselves. You see this at work when a manager takes credit for someone’s work, then convinces that person they’d never have succeeded without their “help.”

So what’s the opposite of that? Psychologist Dr. Michael Karson wrote a great article on this (in Psychology Today, September 19, 2022), where he explains a natural tendency to think the opposite of gaslighting is validation (i.e., “trust your instincts,” “you know the truth deep down,” etc.), but that isn’t it.

✨ The opposite of gaslighting is encouraging critical thinking. ✨

The opposite of persistently feeding false information that causes someone to question reality is persistently offering true information that invites them to reexamine what they believed, even about themselves.

That’s it. That’s the work. So, YES, if my work involves offering up factual information, context, and perspective that inspires thoughtful dialogue and reflection about ourselves and the systems we work within, I’d consider that a huge win and gratefully take that compliment.

p.s. I didn’t see an artist name, but thank you to the Los Alamos County Government for this image.