What do you call fake spaghetti? Impasta!
You know how when you get a new car, you suddenly start seeing the same one everywhere? That has been happening to me lately with conversations about “imposter syndrome.” It keeps coming up in discussions with colleagues, friends, and clients.
Briefly described, imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon of self-doubt or feeling like a fraud despite clear evidence of one’s skill and competence. Many people report experiencing imposter syndrome, and research consistently shows that women are disproportionately affected. Just this week, I have talked with highly capable women hesitating to apply for a promotion, second-guessing whether to launch a new business service, and brushing off well-deserved praise (and if any of you are reading this, I’m cheering for you!).
Here’s what keeps coming up for me: Women also experience something researchers have coined the “likeability penalty.” Studies show that when women display the same leadership behaviors that are rewarded in men (e.g., assertiveness, confidence, etc.), they are often judged as less likeable. That judgment can negatively shape professional outcomes.
Putting together the dynamics of imposter syndrome and the likeability penalty, it’s not a mystery why many women may feel self-doubt in their professional environments. There are confusing, often contradictory messages about what “good leadership” looks like and tangible consequences. And yet, when I look up ways to deal with imposter syndrome, almost all of the advice is about fixing oneself: Keep an achievement log. Challenge negative thoughts. Practice taking a compliment.
Although I definitely don’t want to minimize the importance of one’s internal work (we all deserve tools to stay grounded, and I spend a lot of time on this myself!), it is notable to me that the recommended solutions ask women to spend MORE time and energy addressing what is often the brain’s protective response to unfair systems.
If your environment regularly sends mixed messages about whether your leadership is valued, your brain is going to try to protect you. That is not a personal flaw, it’s a natural response to the context.
🌟Soooo, instead of offering tips on overcoming imposter syndrome, how about we create environments in which women’s brains are not rewarded for minimizing their professional strengths? Let’s create workplaces where strengths are recognized clearly and consistently.🌟
Along the same lines, I have been thinking about calling it something different: Imposter conditioning. Not a personal deficit, but a learned response shaped by inequitable systems. Something we can identify and interrupt together.
If that framing feels more aligned with your experience, you are not imagining it, and you are definitely not alone. I help women leaders build the clarity, support, and structures to thrive within these realities. If this resonates with you, I would love to hear your experience.
